dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
