2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
