that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
