I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
