I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
