She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
