I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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