that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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