I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
