I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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