just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
