she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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