you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
