dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
