will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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