May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
