nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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