we have pet lesbian snakes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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