There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
