Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
