We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize