good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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