He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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