You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
