dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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