I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
