You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
