maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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