Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize