He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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