i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
