it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
