Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize