explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Alive.
So much puke
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
