I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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