well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
