plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
