Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
