Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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