well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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