Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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