I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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