I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cut my penus on the lid.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
