like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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