i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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