Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
