Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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