I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
