You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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