You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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