yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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