i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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