Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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