you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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