Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize