I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
