Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
