You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
