I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
