took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
