Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
two words: eviction party
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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