She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
