i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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