Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
