i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
